Sunday, August 8, 2010

Some brands I hate and why

Crocs
By wearing Crocs footwear you are telling the world “My feet are so smelly and ugly, I don’t mind covering them with a pair of brightly colored plastic and punch a few holes on them”.

Cadbury Chocolates
Loving Cadbury Chocolates is as outrageous as like loving Taliban. It is not reasonable to love a chocolate with smoked bacon taste in it.

Lacoste T-shirts
By wearing Lacoste T-shirts you are telling the world “I am a clean well mannered guy with no sense of originality. I have an obsessive fear from choosing something cool. I have been boring all through my life and I want to stay that way.”

All Korean Cars
We don’t know how to make beautiful cars, and we fail to copy beautiful German cars.

Target and Big W
Our stores smell nothing but plastic. You will feel in your bones how cheap we and you are.

Coffee in Gloria Jeans
We don’t mind insulting Italians by serving burned coffee and calling it ‘Cappuccino’.

Coffee in Starbucks
We don’t mind insulting Italians by serving hot water with a 1/4 mm froth on it and still calling it ‘Cappuccino’.

Low rise pants
I want to show the World that I don't have anything in my possession or in my character that is interesting or respectful, other than this miserable filthy crack.

Doughnuts
I hate weddings. I want a kind of food which has the necessary geometry for maximum fat and sugar intake so that I’ll make sure that I die from a blocked artery filled with yellow and sticky stuff before my kid is married.